If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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