Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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