can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
