Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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