The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
