it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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