Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
...so i touched it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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