Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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