so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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