Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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