I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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