Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
