Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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