It's Friday. Sex?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
