All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
