you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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