i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
