I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm both gender and math confused
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
