You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
