so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
