I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Quick, to the slutcave!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
