I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
