The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I am morally bankrupt
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
