dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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