in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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