she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
