And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
