i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
