i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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