I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
