I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
