i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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