First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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