I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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