u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
