So drunk its hurt
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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