I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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