Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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