Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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