I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
