All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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