Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
