took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
