It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As shirtless as possible
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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