dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize