I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
