the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
