i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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