I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?