Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I have one thing to say: spongebath.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.

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(781): I have one thing to say: spongebath. (1-781): I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all. http://tfl.nu/ojs2

Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (2407)
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(503): View more from Oregon

my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

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(503): my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew. http://tfl.nu/fdzr

Replies (88) Good night (5424) Bad night (791)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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(636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7

Replies (10) Good night (4358) Bad night (686)
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(847): View more from Illinois

just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life

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(847): just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life http://tfl.nu/dyz8

Replies (8) Good night (2714) Bad night (844)
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(207): View more from Maine

Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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(207): Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers. http://tfl.nu/gf42

Replies (8) Good night (3646) Bad night (863)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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(919): Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar. http://tfl.nu/xoz4

Replies (3) Good night (2651) Bad night (876)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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(412): I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket. http://tfl.nu/hou4

Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (1025)
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(315): View more from New York

The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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(315): The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me. http://tfl.nu/qtoi

Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (373)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?

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(215): Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard? http://tfl.nu/x05b

Replies (12) Good night (532) Bad night (920)
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(330): View more from Ohio

GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.

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(330): GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. http://tfl.nu/8n34

Replies (11) Good night (1828) Bad night (375)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.

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(260): He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him. http://tfl.nu/2xzg

Replies (5) Good night (1436) Bad night (559)
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(260): View more from Indiana

as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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(260): as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is... http://tfl.nu/earv

Replies (16) Good night (674) Bad night (1199)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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(910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev

Replies (16) Good night (1542) Bad night (795)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.

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(720): I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver. http://tfl.nu/9cmy

Replies (4) Good night (452) Bad night (211)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No idea. I blame fireball.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Valid.

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(412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x

Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (205)

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