Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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  (817): is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign. http://tfl.nu/8cf5
  Replies (51) Good night (2407) Bad night (1099)
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  (805): View more from California

  When do i get to see u next week?

  (1-805): View more from California

  When I teabag your entire family

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  (805): When do i get to see u next week? (1-805): When I teabag your entire family http://tfl.nu/lkxo
  Replies (12) Good night (1259) Bad night (2447)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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  (207): it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho. http://tfl.nu/14wc
  Replies (27) Good night (4657) Bad night (881)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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  (412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx
  Replies (32) Good night (1615) Bad night (15516)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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  (604): Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating. http://tfl.nu/sjit
  Replies (35) Good night (13624) Bad night (1082)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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  (480): I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues" http://tfl.nu/4mvg
  Replies (26) Good night (4202) Bad night (2029)
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  (+47): View more from Norway

  I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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  (+47): I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian http://tfl.nu/2tom
  Replies (21) Good night (5188) Bad night (1036)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place

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  (360): im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place http://tfl.nu/ws4h
  Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (2933)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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  (330): he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong http://tfl.nu/36h0
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (1714)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

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  (609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl
  Replies (7) Good night (4283) Bad night (1240)
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  (916): View more from California

  Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy

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  (916): Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy http://tfl.nu/he18
  Replies (1) Good night (992) Bad night (464)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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  (352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (578)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.

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  (360): Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void. http://tfl.nu/6brj
  Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (453)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.

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  (519): We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek. http://tfl.nu/mffc
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (246)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time

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  (724): You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time http://tfl.nu/hrwv
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (322)

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