my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse