Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today

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  (646): your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today http://tfl.nu/czz0
  Replies (3) Good night (2509) Bad night (4627)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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  (401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd
  Replies (16) Good night (1196) Bad night (5053)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head

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  (941): i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head http://tfl.nu/fs2w
  Replies (45) Good night (1360) Bad night (5296)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.

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  (516): I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy. http://tfl.nu/zkq5
  Replies (24) Good night (2250) Bad night (4691)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.

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  (504): We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that. http://tfl.nu/afy4
  Replies (15) Good night (3460) Bad night (1512)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

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  (915): do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/mens
  Replies (13) Good night (3015) Bad night (1053)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering

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  (610): They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering http://tfl.nu/lidm
  Replies (9) Good night (3470) Bad night (1076)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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  (585): I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late. http://tfl.nu/de8d
  Replies (1) Good night (2912) Bad night (986)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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  (406): I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works." http://tfl.nu/3ym3
  Replies (8) Good night (3816) Bad night (917)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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  (914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q
  Replies (1) Good night (1299) Bad night (858)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

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  (217): It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties http://tfl.nu/jqe8
  Replies (2) Good night (1127) Bad night (608)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

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  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (1751)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!

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  (262): You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?! http://tfl.nu/rmx8
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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  (702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1
  Replies (8) Good night (1292) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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  (816): You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex (816): ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship http://tfl.nu/eny9
  Replies (3) Good night (1446) Bad night (388)

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