We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're like the curious george of whores
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The pigeons can smell the fear
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.