Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT