By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
