So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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