I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize