THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
