Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I know her cup size but not her name....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
