there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
