Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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