planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize